Missing you heaps

To my beloved Toby

Mummy had been living in denial since you left us. Talking to a ‘Ham bag’ filled with your old toys, collar, cushion and seat cover. Your resting place in our backyard will soon be a beautiful garden. Mummy visits you several times a day to feed you breakfast, dinner and treats every now and then. Those blackbirds and tui must love you, Tob. They ate your food happily.

Mummy spent the whole night compiling your photographs into a book to celebrate your life, a life with so much love only to be taken away so suddenly.

Tob, Mummy had been recording each day, taking photographs of you every precious day since you were diagnosed with the deadly cancer that took your life. We prayed every day and night, asked God to take away your pain and grant you another day on earth. Our consolation was that you did not suffer and we still managed 13.5 quality days spent together, including walks and lots of kisses, cuddles and massages.

Those photographs and dates made Mummy realised that I got the date of the day you left us wrong. At your final moment, you walked to Mummy’s room with all the remaining energy and will power only to collapse as hemangiosarcoma won. You were a fighter, a loyal pet and companion and you departed and breathe your last, lying in your little bed in my room, looked deep into mummy’s eyes but there was nothing mummy could do but only to stroke you and comfort you, held your little paws and gave you the warmth, calling your name so you were not alone. You left us at 8.15pm on 22 (not 21) Aug 2019. Half of Mummy died with you. You were not just a pet, you were my everything, my pet, my companion, my baby, someone so dependent on me. In a way, Mummy was also dependent on you. All these 10 years, you had became a part of me, someone who comforted me by just being there for me, the joy I entered the house to see you with a toy in your mouth greeting me at the door, the kisses (licks) you happily gave me showed that we loved and cared for each other even though we are two different species, some people call it a dog and a master. To me, I am your Mummy and you were and will always stay as my Tob boy (baby).

Mummy will correct the date on your memory pebble tomorrow.

Rest in peace, my precious Tob.

Always loved, forever missed and remembered.

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