AUGUST is month eight
8 regarded as the luckiest number in Chinese culture
1988 our baby Bom was to be born
that year of the golden dragon.
12 August 1988 was 3 days before her EDD
Intense pain and continuous pushing almost in vain
An exhausted mummy with oxygen to aid
Finally 1.30pm, Judith Yolanda Ngeaw Hui-Hui was born.
31 happy years
Bom was my second child
My closest, a child I spent the most time babysitting
Taro Fresh Cream Chiffon, our favorite cake.
12 August 2020
My baby would have turned 32
Instead, she will always be our 31-year-old baby forever
August my favorite month became my most painful month.
Today
That physical pain of childbirth was nothing compared to losing a child. Struggling with complicated grief is something I have to live with for life. Mentally telling myself to ‘grow my heart’ and make it bigger and bigger each day to fill my love and grief because grief is just love with no place to go.
Grief lasts as long as love lasts which is often forever. Painfully but patiently, I am waiting for Bom to hold out her hand to me and bring me over to her side so we can be together in a safe haven where there is no pain, no sorrow, no parting, and no death.
Nevetheless, I am mummy to three children, Joanne, Judith and Joel. Nothing will ever take that away from me.
This blog was originally created for Toby, my pet dog. Celebrating the lives of my two closest companions whose lives were cut short by deadly tumours. 
Reblogged this on littlegirlstory and commented:
August then and now ….
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It’s never easy losing someone you love so much. Love is a very powerful feeling, and it can go on and on. Lovely birthday cake and note for Bom, Jess. I am sure she appreciates it a lot. Take care and stay safe.
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Thank you, Mabel for your nice comments. 😊😇
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Hello. I hope you are well. I check your blog a lot from time to time thinking about whether to post or not. I read your stuff often and although I did not know you or your daughter like this, I had encountered you both in 2019. I was saddened by the news and found out from your blog as I made sure to remember Judith’s name to hear of the news. Every year I think about commenting but I have decided now, in case you ever see this, that although I did not know your Judith as I read from what you have posted, I did come to meet you and her in October 2019. I just wanted you to know that I remember her often and you too, and I hope that you are doing well and that her memory will live on with a stranger who will remember her too.
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Thank you for your very kind message. It is Christmas Day today and I often miss Judith even more on such events. It is nice that her legacy lives on. Thank you for your memories of my beloved Judith.
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